Got lots of cuddles from Boss and Miss Lo this morning (I snuck into bed and spooned her, aw yiss), and we went to Ihop for breakfast. It’s a glorious day to fold ten baskets of laundry! Hope to see you at the discussion tonight!
Yay, my work day is already half over! I get to see the Triad this weekend, their first Big Little discussion is tomorrow night! If you’ll be in SD, you should definitely joining us.. It’s pansexual, anyone who supports the community is welcome. I’m typing this on my phone, but details are on Miss Lo’s page, and mine if you scroll enough!;)
Anyways, feels good to have my first week almost over. I just wanna relax! We’ll see what kind of shenanigans the Triad gets me into this weekend.. I hear talk of a swinger’s club? Craziness.
mouse656 asked: What is a bdsm checklist?
A BDSM checklist is a list of fetishes (high heels, leather, etc.) and behaviors (ageplay, biting, pet play, so forth) and implements (caning, flogging, what have you), and you go through and check on a scale through “No” through “Fuck yes/All day”, also you usually have a place to list allergies and medical issues like joint pains or a bad back or what have you, and also a section where you list specific things that you will never, ever do.. which for me is like, no animals, no children, no unwilling bystanders or participants, no race play, and no scat or urine. (And other things I’m sure I’m not thinking of) There’s sometimes a space to list your fantasies or I’ve even seen essay questions (shudder). The Top should then use this document to help them create situations that will both challenge you and please you both, and they know what not to do so no one gets traumatized.
I suggest Googling a few so you can get an idea.. some are very involved and complex, and some are just a short list. Find something that you and your partner like, that promotes communication and also promotes your dynamic!
Thanks for the question, and best of luck!
demetriusdubois asked: Hi
adaddyandhisprincess asked: Hey mouse!! I love your blog and all your updates! I was wondering about you and Boss, did it start off being weird having sex with Lo's hubby or was it quite a natural thing from the off? Im so intrigued and amazed by your polyamorous relationship with them all and just wanted to know if Lo ever gets jealous of you two or if you get jealous when you know Boss is with Miss Lo? Thank you :) xx
Thanks for the sweet compliments, I’m flattered that you follow along on my humble little journey.
As far as jealousy goes, I don’t feel any toward Miss Lo and Boss being together - they’re married! I feel happy for them. I feel compersion for them - I’m happy for their situation, and I want them to thrive in it. I’m invested in them being happy together.
Occasionally, when I get in a dark headspace, and I’m feeling super lonely and I haven’t had so much as a hug in eight days and I’m going nuts all alone.. I’ll feel a bit sad that I don’t have anything primary in my life. And sometimes, that feeling extends to a bit of envy, but I don’t get angry at myself because it’s just human to feel lonely and needy sometimes. But being single is hard AND relationships are hard. Either way, there are challenges. And I shake the blues off pretty quickly, because I know I’m not really equipped for a primary relationship at this time.
Actually, I’m finding that I’m attracted to situations where there’s a relationship already established, such as the Triad.. it’s like I get all the positive attention and affection, without having to be in the relationship and deal with day-to-day stuff. I’ve discussed it with Sir and Lo and it’s both healthy and unhealthy for me.. probably more healthy, temporarily, since it’s only been a year and half since I was divorced, plus my best friend/lover died suddenly, last September, so.. yeah, probably a good thing for me to take my time in these matters.
And as for the first time, the first time I had sex with Boss was in front of Lo, and Sir. So it was all in the open, literally, from the beginning. And yeah, it did happen pretty naturally, although that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t ‘weird’.. not the husband part (honestly, as long as everyone’s in the know and is down, let’s fucking do it!), just the fact that I was new to the situation, and hadn’t experienced something like that before.
Thanks again for the questions! Feel free to write me anytime. (And sorry this took so long.. this first week of work has me exhausted!)
— Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
— Sylvia Plath (via oh-girl-among-the-roses)